Meeting with the doctor after the 3rd IVF failure

When women get older, the chromosomes in the eggs age as well. It comes to the genetic stuff. I'm sure not me having genetic problem because I got tested. Now my hubby is wondering whether him or not.? Well, it doesn't matter to me whoever has the problem because getting pregnant needs 2 people.  

We discussed for the next cycle of IVF, at first we wanted to tell the doctor that we want to do assisted hatching (thin outer shell of the embryo) at the day 3 of embryo, that way might help implantation even though no proof about doing it. Anyway, deep down on my mind, I wanted to do the day 5 of embryo or blastocyst like we did the last cycle, I felt that was very close. He explained that I had early miscarriage which is normal in the IVF. He also said that my body always have a good response to the medication, he suggested to do the blastocyst again. So we both agreed on that. Anyway, it is depending on how my body response to the medication, the quality of the eggs.

Something new today from the meeting, he suggested us to think about more options for having a baby, something like not our own genetic. He suggested 3 options :

# Egg Donor which is cost approximately  $ 40, 000. i was joking that it costs same as my car. This option, is my husband's genetic but not mine. I don't mind if i carry my own pregnancy and the baby is going to eat with me during that time. We have to work with the agency for this matter for checking like picking a girl , checking her if she is candidate for us.
# Frozen eggs , this option is cheaper but we can't be too picky.
# Frozen embryos, This option is none of us genetic but in my opinion still better than adopt toddler.  Well, none of these option guarantee  that I will get pregnant if i do one of them.!

I have never thought that we are coming to this point. Anyway, I still have a hope for this cycle. However, adoption is not my option at all, I like to carry the pregnancy by myself. I hope my husband understand, look like he does.

We are waiting for me to get my period then we will be doing our next cycle, same old thing as the previous one. I hope this is not the end of trying on my own.

If i have to go for one of  those options that the doctor offered, I need to get my mind ready for that matter! I like to do so many things if I can't have baby. Do I really need to do this? I do this for myself or my husband? or for both of us?, I still wonder sometimes. May be i never meant to be a mom, then I want to focus on my career.

Life is so much exciting! So many things to see and explore, to learn and to enjoy! I can't just stuck on this kind of this treatment for ever!!  I want to do so many things before i get too old!!

The result of my present medical cycle : the 3rd one

Finally, the waiting time is over!. Of course i preferred it came out positive but for now what ever the result is, i feel like i have got out from the waiting time that i was in seemed so long and endless.

It has been 3 weeks since i had the embryo transferred. It was on April 16 2012.This was the hardest time for me, i hate the waiting time. I felt like i could do anything but i couldn't.I rather take a shot, blood draw, insert or intake medication than just doing nothing and waiting.  

our 2 blastocyst embryos

It was such an emotional  roller-coaster within that 2 weeks, i had 4 times blood draw for the pregnancy test. Furthermore, the 1st day of my test, i started to have my period a 5 a.m, just right when i woke up for getting ready to go to the clinic.I immediately called my husband to take a look. He said, sometimes even you getting pregnant, there is a chance to have some light period. What a nice and so positive husband. But for me, i learned from the last 2 IVF that i always had the period at the same day of the 1st time testing. So i was thinking, not again! and that the situation very mean to me.. " Poor me". I have tried my best, stayed positive, talked to my embryos picture everyday that please stay with me. I was fine, no period until the day that i had my first pregnancy test!!. I started to lose my hope but i needed to stay strong for my husband.!

Green Curry

i didn't grow up with green curry because i grew up in the southern part of Thailand. The green curry is originally come from central part. But, it is me who like all kind of food haha. Okay here is how to get all ingredients: By the way, this is my way to make it. You also can find so many sites about it.

What do you need?

 # 1 can of green curry paste (4 oz). you can get it at any Asian grocery store but i prefer to shop at Lanna Asian Market in Nashua

# 1 can of Coconut milk (14 oz). I prefer the light one from Trader Joe's. , Divided.

# 1.5 lb of Chicken breast or beef or firmed Tofu, cut up as you like. I prefer like a cube 1"x1" size

# a couple handfuls of Thai eggplant, quarterly cut or your choice of eggplant.

# 1 cup of fined chopped bamboo (you can buy  it in a can style also from Asian store)
# (optional)  1 cup a small fish balls

# (optional) you can carve a carrot just for decoration 

# a handful of torn Thai sweet basil leaves 

# 1 bag of Rice Vermicelli if you prefer or Jasmine Rice 

Rice Vermicelli after cooked

some ingredients i have left

How to flavor ?

: I prefer 2 tbs of fish sauce or to test but you can use light soy sauce from Trader Joe's that works too 

: 1 tbs of Thai concentrate Tamarin Juice or to test

: 1 tbs of Brown Sugar or to test 

: a pinch of salt (believe me, the salty from salt and fish sauce are different)

In my opinion, The green curry suppose to test like a bit of spicy in the background (not over spicy like other kinds of curry), a bit of sweet and salty and tangy sour as well. The texture is not very thick.

How to put all these together? : let do it! follow me....

1) stir half of the coconut milk with the curry paste on the stove with the medium heat until boil then add the meat or tofu and stir until cook through

2) add the coconut mixture [ the other half of coconut milk mix with water (same amount with coconut milk), stir the mixture]

3) add The eggplants, bamboo shoot, and carrot and fish balls t if you use. 

4) flavor it : add all those flavor ingredients, then cover and let it boil

5) add the Thai sweet basil leaves, turn off the stove and remove the pot from the heat.

how it looks before turn off the heat

How to Serve  ?: 

I like to serve by topping  with my Rice Vermicelli noodle( cook according to the direction). I also got from Lanna Asian market. Or you just simply top on you Jasmine Rice.

The veggies i have

Here is the key for serving : 

I, I mean most Thai peple love to eat this curry with noodle and all kinds of veggies we like, for instant :  string green bean (you can use just green bean too).  Chinese cabbage, cucumber, green cabbage pickle, bean sprout , lemon basil leave. You gotta cut it up very fine, then put them on top on your dish and ready to serve!!. ENJOY!!

Now, i m making myself hungry!! You know what i'm gonna do? haha